This Is Why You Should Never Say No To Me

I'm warning you...

(Thanks boingboing)

On the Question of Spirit Animals

The age-old subject of spirit animals came up at a recent dinner shindig that Chinita and I attended. We discovered that one of our good friends was an elephant (she's 5 feet tall and Indian, Perfect!) and our other friend was a potential chinchilla, but he's still working that out for himself. Others still had no idea and might need a guided session or two before making any headway. Another friend, however, boldly stated that his spirit animal was a phoenix. A PHOENIX! Seriously? As you can imagine, Chinita and I don't mess around when it comes to spirit animals and refuse to hold our tongues on the subject. Choosing a phoenix as one's spirit animal is beyond pretentious-it's blatantly self-righteous!
We do not dismiss all mystical creatures as self-righteous. I date a unicorn and know and love other unicorns that I've met along the journey that is life. Ligers are fantastic folks, for example, and so are merpeople. But where's the humility or comic relief in a phoenix? How can one take themselves seriously when claiming such a creature? Other potential spirit animals listed by him that were also unacceptable include but are not limited to, falcon, hawk, and dragon (note, our friend is not Asian) When will our friend learn that only Dumbledore can legitimately claim the phoenix his spirit animal?