Winners Circle

And so, on the epic day of the Slash 30th anniversary celebration, when yours truly won the grand prize, (a sweet cruiser bike)  Shotor managed to win 3 pairs of jeans! In a row! The best of which is featured below:

But the Shotor was not satisfied with the riches she received and wished to peddle her pantaloons for their worth in gold dubloons.  The Panda was puzzled as to her motives since the afore mentioned pants gave the wearer the power to resemble the bear from her favourite children's tale:

Dossier

Name: Chinita Linda a.k.a. Captain Lavender

Associations: 1/2 of the infamous internet alliance Camelus Pandaluribus Unum

Hair: Assmetrical

Eyes: Good Lookin

Height: Under Contention

Spirit Animal: Panda

Favorite Color: Neon

Last Seen: With glazed over look in eyes, sneakers on brain.

WARNING! This fugitive is armed and dangerous. Will not hesitate to trample to attain neon Nylon dunks.

Rich Losers≠WInners

Unfortunately some people actually think the chalk toss is cool. While watching the Cavs stomp the Warriors a while back a I made the mistake of making a comment about it to a friend's boyfriend. The transcription is as follows:

Panda: What a loser!
Panda's Friend: He's is anything but a loser...he's rich!

I maintain that wealth does not excuse lame behavior. Which is why this commercial is so epic.

The Opposite of Me

It's Been So Long...

Now that the tables have turned, Shotor is the busiest camel alive, with no job to speak of (OK, truth is she doesn't have internet.  Which is no excuse.  What year is she living in. 1981?). Meantime, I, the employed panda, have all the leisure time in the world. To read, embroider and practice ukelele; you know, the things that all civilized pandas should know how to do in order to catch a husband.

I've only time enough right now to tell you about snack salad.

I love snack salad.  For those of you who don't know, snack salad is essentially fried snap peas.  It claims to be BAKED but I find that the only thing greasier is the ham and cheese turnover from Acme Bakery.  At least we know what turns the bag clear in that scenario.  The oily oily cheese.  Mmmmmm.

Here is what snack salad has to say for itself:

Your Salad Never Got Such a Lift!

The pea has played an important role in dietary life and culture since the dawn of recorded history, and because of its nutritional value it has great potential for our dietary lives in the future.  We are expecting to see the continuing development of 'Snapea Crisps" as a delicate and tasty product which has taken advantage of the pea's original goodness, and we propose this product as a new type of snack.

Neti Pot. Net-Net-Neti Pot

Or should I say, "nose bidet"?

Is this the new Toto?

This one's for Humita:

A little neti pot still life?

This is Joan's neti pot. It's hand made.

Most expensive neti pot. Ever.

It's actually made of crushed diamonds encased in red plastic. It's unbreakable.