Shoeless Shoes

Though, as a panda, I am accustomed to wandering barefoot in the wild, you homoerecti may find that it is nearly impossible to walk in your urban jungle without the help of some sort of foot covering.

Especially when it comes to exercise, you humans have invented every kind of fitness shoe from the hideous MBT, the aptly dubbed "anti-shoe" (no self respecting humon would consider those atrocities acceptable in public), to the FitFlop, the flip flop that "energizes your body" and "makes you fit", to the running shoe.

Apparently around the time Nike invented itself and proposed the wedged heel to cushion impact, this style became all the rage. That was in 1972 and we are still using the same basic design today.

Enter barefoot simulation technology.Various shoe companies in the past few years decided that this design was outdated. You might think that in 37 years someone would have invented a different type of exercise shoe. But no, only in the last 5 years or so have these new types of shoes become available largely due to the extreme cushioning, and limiting range of motion that hinders a natural walking/running style in running shoes today. Groups such as ChiRunning, and books like Born to Run have sprung up questioning the use of large amounts of shock absorbency in shoes since the foot has evolved to be a shock absorber in itself. There is conflicting evidence that proves both that flatter soled shoes prevent foot problems and that traditional running shoes prevent foot problems though there does not seem to be any evidence proving that either type of shoe prevents injury. (Of course this is nearly impossible to study since factors would include amount of time warming up, previous injuries, stretching regimen, how in shape the runner is already, and running style—does the runner pronate? How much impact does the runner create when running...this one would be particularly hard to measure since runners have a greater impact in a more cushioned shoe so even the same runner would generate different results in the 2 different types of shoes...? etc etc etc.)

Enter the "anti-shoe." Galahad Clark (Yes, his name is Galahad!) of Clark's fame has collaborated with the people at Vibram (the italian shoe company that soles my Frye boots) to create a shoe that simulates being barefoot.

Admittedly, from the outset this concept seems like an oxymoron—an eighty-dollar shoe that makes you feel like you are not wearing shoes. But supposedly this new technology, which makes you look (and feel) like a new-wave ninja turtle, will help the wearer redevelop the various muscles of the foot that have fallen into disuse after s/he outgrew the barefoot stage of childhood. For most of you humonoids I would imagine it has been at least 20 years. You still seem skeptical.
For one thing, humons in the cave days did not have things like cement, flat ground and broken glass to deal with, thus creating an immediate problem. However, Vibram FiveFinger is offered up for use in such situations as rock-climbing, martial arts, running, surfing, and weight training so according to their thinking these types of petty obstacles should not pose any sort of problem for the wearer.
Another seemingly important detail is the relative life expectancy. Cave men and women lived to what, 35? They didn't have to worry about one set of knees and feet lasting them well into their 80s. Of course knee replacements and hip replacements are becoming more common by the year, but that's not much of a fall back plan. I will take healthy feet and knees any day over recovery time from multiple joint replacements. This makes me think of the mouse who was going to visit his grandmother—his car broke down, then his roller skates and finally he had to buy a new set of feet because those wore out from walking so much.
Still not convinced? Fear not, beloved readers, this panda has purchased the versy shoe in question and will be trying it out for the next 30 days. Expect regular updates about foot soreness, blisters and other scintillating tidbits.