It's All Good

Attetion CB haters:

You don't know what the meaning of bad influence is.  Sure he allegedly hit RiRi in the face and she had some bite-marks on her arms. But at least he didn't rap about smoking PCP, actually smoke PCP, murder his roommate's girlfriend while high on PCP and eat part of her lung.  

OK, OK, according to some it was only someone else's human flesh that was found in his stomach, her lungs had bite marks and were torn from her body with a 3 inch knife, the blade of which was stuck in her shoulder.

As far as I'm concerned, CB's got nothing to worry about.  If anything, he will use this as a stepping stone since Big Lurch aka Luciano aka Lucky Lurch aka XXXL who has been locked up since '03 has gone platinum and threatens to go multi.  The album, It's All Bad was released in 2004 after he was convicted of murder (no insanity plea!) with this cover art:

The victim's mother has filed a lawsuit against the label, Black Market Activities for allegedly providing Lurch with angel dust in order "to encourage [him] to act out in an extreme, violent manner so as to make him more marketable as a 'Gangsta Rap' artist."

He's from Texas but has recorded with all your local favorites: Yukmouth, Mac Dre, C-Bo, RBL Posse, Keak, E-A-Ski etc.  I don't notice anyone from the Bay claiming this dude.

Odd since he is amazing.

He is in contention for this panda's favorite rapper in the category of 6'6" and above.

Ranger Fitted

As you may know, this panda is applying to become a park ranger.  It is common knowledge that panda's look pretty good in olive green and khaki so here are some ideas of what will be needed:

This is a spring look, patches not included.  Do you think they'll mind that this jacket is made for hunting? Note the extra padding on the right hand side.  Too bad this panda shoots left.

For winter pandas need a more substantial coat.  Perhaps something in waxed cotton?  It seems elementary that belts are a Ranger's friend, therefore a belted jacket? Genius!

Rangering demands a fair amount of walking, hiking, boat steering, horse-back riding and apparently ATV driving so a steady boot is in order.

For shirt perhaps a nice western in corresponding colors of course.  Mother of peal buttons only please, Pandas are a classy bunch and Rangers aren't too shabby themselves.  (Does that mean Panda Rangers have to be twice as nice?!)

 And last but not least, pantaloons.  Ideally this panda would love to wear some Argentine gaucho pants, but that may not go over great in this, the land of Lincoln. (Speaking of which, Happy Belated to Honest Abe and Darwin!  Same day!  Same age!) 

Don't Even Trip On All The Cameos

He is everywhere.  And by "He" I mean the newest member of the Mo' Thugs Family.

Also, this video is great if you, say, just discovered the internet and need a summary. You know who you are.

Guess Who Met at the Crossroads...

We all thought the Mo Thugs Family was crossing lines, but this is just Krayzie! I have nothing nice to say. Even efing Perez Hilton was mad about this.



If you've forgotten "Ghetto Cowboy" from Mo Thugs Family, let me refresh your memory:



And here's the rare instrumental version:

I didn't realize Obama was up for Sainthood!

Who wouldn't want to own this votive candle?

A Catholic priest.  Rev. Tony La Torre claimed Sunday that the candle mocks Jesus in a "not so saintly way" and is urging folks to boycott the store selling them. 

 The imagery in question was taken from the Peruvian San Martín de Porres (Saint of the Broom) who was one of the first people of African descent to become a saint in the Americas but not until 1962.  According to some sources San Martín was also of mixed European and African descent, just like our prez.  Unlike the president he was known to levitate on occasion, bilocate, and talk to animals.

The same priest also claimed that the owners of the shop are Jewish (they're not) and thus "should know what it feels like to be mocked and ridiculed."

The owners of the store fought back by saying their stuff is "just fun" though "there's a lot of nasty stuff you can sell...in the Castro."  Way to point the finger guys.

Rev. La Torre wrote all of these complaints and more in his parish newsletter which is on display at Just For Fun on 24th St. in Noe Valley, adding that he was outraged that a gag gift shop would do this "just to make a buck."  

Try $15 each, Homey.

Fancy Potty Opportunities

Some might think that thoroughly washing one's junk after every trip to the john is a bit excessive. I, however, refuse to shmear my refuse (get it?!) For this reason, Benny and I purchased and attached this nifty hand-held bidet/chrome shattaf/muslim shower.



Once I start my fundraising efforts I will upgrade to this gorgeous bit of heaven known as the Toto Washlet. Chinita's big bro is already working with this and purchased one for the parents. So thoughtful. I had the pleasure of using chinita's bro's washlet the other day. I actually held my pee until I arrived at his location because I just couldn't to miss out on the occilating spray and heat dry. Other amenities include heated water, angled spray nossils, and a removable wall mounted remote.



Brilliant advertisement btw.



One typically does not associate public restrooms with cleanliness and luxury, but the first ever five star public toilet is about to open on April 27 in Hangzhou, China. For you bathroom aficionados, this might be old news. You might even have your tickets reserved.

Valentimes!

Rubbing Him The Right Way